Wonderful way of writing an Officail mail ... Love it !!!!!!!

--------Actual Mail from one of the Program Managers to us ----------

Courtesy -- Julie Beth Shaw


Okay, kids. Here's the deal. We have had some pretty sad attendance numbers at our last few deployment meetings. I know, I know. You'd rather be watching paint dry or cutting your lawn with a pair of scissors rather than sit through yet another fun-filled deployment meeting. Believe me, this isn't my first chose in activities either. Be that as it may, we only have five more days (gulp!) until deployment starts on June 1st. While the plan is starting to take shape, I really need everyone at the remainder of the deployment meetings to solidify communication plans, go/no go checkpoints, and to give the final head-nod on Plan A versus Plan B. If you don't know what Plan A and Plan B are, you really need to start attending the meetings. There are several tasks that still have outstanding questions or do not have a primary resource assigned; I'll be sending separate follow up emails to the impacted folks. I am planning to freeze the plan at the end of the week, so please review the attached plan and visual timeline and get any changes to me by noon tomorrow (Friday).
So suck it up. We only have a week of this stuff left. Don't make me beg and make puppy dog eyes at you - just attend the meetings. And I don't want to have to make someone much scarier than me bully you into attending.

Awsome way of wriing right ?? Lively yet pusing you to atten meeting !!!!! This is wat i call an art and Julie is a true artist.

Geeks and their Kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have come across many kinds of people in what ever short span of live we have lived. The tall, the short, the fat, the lean, the good, the bad, the fair, the dark. we will be able to understand all of them to some extent. But then there are these GEEKS.... I love the way they speak . I have been hunting a bunch of Geeks from an ambush.

Learning are being recorded and documented...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. They are cryptic in their speech. It doesn't make sense unless you are a GEEK yourself, like you ask them..
Level Headed Human Being: Hey heard you changed you phone number whats the new one ??
Geek: To get my new number just do 's/2/0/g' on my old number (Click on that and find it for yourself....keep reading comments you will discover how a GEEK understands another GEEK)

So friends note it down, before you start probing a GEEK ask him or her...... What is your syntax like ??....C ..COBAL... UNIX.....SHELL SCRIPT....?? Do you come with a manual or release notes or Online?? A help command ?? no . ??? At least a ReleaseNotes in a Text file ???

Get that release notes... understand and then start speaking to them :)

2. Ask them to write way for nearest Walmart on a piece of paper.........

*Start 495 N
*CD Exit 19
*CD Capatol Drive
*CD Franklin Avenue
*End Walmart

CD is Change Direction ...... if yo are wondering

3. A project trainee GEEK.... Saurabh are you done with the innovative design for the application....... Madhav I was thinking OUT of the BOX to solve this issue...but then I have forgot the password to come back into the box,

4. Mamm whats is Reliance Call home Toll Free number.... Madhav its soooo easy cant you remember a simple thing ?? ok let me tell you again 1-866-10xlog(3)*COSINE(0)*e-Lan(32) ..... What rubbish

5. If wife is a geek... Honey can you please do the laundry?? ..... File cannot be accessed... Sharing Violation...Access Denied......
Husband still keeps wondering wat did she mean ?? Will she do or not do huh ????

6. Shubha I dint see you at the meeting..... yes Madhav ... 404 error on health .... decipher it as Health Not found ...... :P

7. GEEK'S kids are more interesting as they are the upgraded versions of their parents.... they start speaking in BASIC first ...slowly they learn other languages tooo
KIDS: "10 PRINT "dad" 20 PRINT "dad" 30 PRINT "Could we have some candy please?" 40 INPUT X
DAD: 10 "X=NO" 20 PRINT "Over and out"

8. At school these GEEK kid exhibit a different talent ...........

Teacher: Rahul what is the capital of Karnataka
Rahul: Lifts his hand up and checking the time in his watch
Teacher:Rahul what are you up to
Rahul: Wait mam downloading the answer 33% complete... dial-up connection just 52 kbps

9. In akasharabhaysa ritual (A ritual of india where in Kids will be taught to write .. usually Father will make his kid to write OM)
GEEK father made his kid write
#include
void main()
{
printf("Hello, World!!");
}
Kashi dont deny the fact... I have a photo proof of this :)

At last when two GEEKS are speaking never ever try to listen to their conservation as their conservation is always 128 bit encryption protected. Not even NASA can break it :)

But then we love our GEEKS, its because of them ... we are enjoying life.... online movies ... online gambling.....GPS.....lots of games........music systems...mp3 players...digital cameras...

Long Live GEEKS ... AMEN :)

Gossip !!!!

A trip back home 50,000 rupees, chocolates and gifts 20,000 rupees, an outing to pani poori gadi with friends 50 rupees, the moments joy, jokes shared, gossips,and who is behind who.. they are priceless.

Couple of days back bunch of us were hanging out at a road side food stall waiting for Gol Gappa and discussing the the sensational topic on earth.... "Celebrity Arranged Marriages". We started our discussion about the Abi Ash wedding but soon the topic got changed to just to sensational arranged marriages. These are some classic ones.

Take One -

An engineer went to look out for marriage proposition. The girl was BE and was looking out for a job. Our Hero wanted a working wife. He was not sure if she would get a job. So he happened to ask her to write a C Program on their first meeting to test her calibre. Jesus !!!!!! Long live Software Engineers

Take Two -

Recently an Engineer brought his Wife to US of A on Visa. As soon as they landed in Newark International airport the girl did a run away act with her old boyfriend. The great Escape. Our Hero was left heart broken in front of Airport. Long live innovative lovers.

There were many such incidents discussed but then Gol Gappa was ready infront of me. Once I see food everything else on earth takes a lower priority. I will be totally lost in the food and no speach penitrates me.

So, What are your Hobbies ???

So, What are your Hobbies ???

A: Coaching lions n tigers to be man eaters, language classes for insects….classes of spying in office......dishum many more are there

My Mobile: Tring Tring…. Tring Tring … Tring Tring
Superman: Hello Good evening, Thanks for calling 1 – 800 – MADHAV, how can I help you today??
DumbMan: Teri tho sale…Coming out for dinner??
Superman: :) What time .. I am already hungry??
DumbMan: Abhi Chal…neeche Aaja ….

A bunch of us went on an expedition to Indian restaurant…it is 25 Miles drive form the place i call surrogate home. Once we drive away from downtown, it’s a boring drive… empty huge and wide roads just a couple of cars here and there...... lawns of wild grass and flowers on both the sides of roads ..more like windows walpaper, melting snow, some seagulls….I was getting bored, I started tuning into some FM stations.. tuned to 91.7 BBC News…

Host …Welcome to Talk of Town…..Today we have with us Sharon a bug collector..
Good Evening Sharon ...Thanks for coming into the show …..

Sheron… Good Evening and My Pleasure to attend a show

Host.... So Sharon…What are your hobbies apart from collecting bugs??

Eeks It’s the wicked question again “So, What are your hobbies” …. Human race has nurtured this question a long long long way ….. the funniest thing about this question…….9 out of 10 ppl answering this question will bull shit….At least me..... I never had a answer for this question but still I have been bull shitting when ever I am shot with tis question……

On a serious note … Hobbies are no longer personal stuff. Now they are not the private affairs, practised in one's free time to soothen one's nerves. Meaning of Hobby is - auxiliary activity….. it is something which is not your primary activity,,,If my primary activity is to be awake most of the day …my hobby is automically is to sleep….as simple as it …

As a kid when ever relatives use to visit my place they use to carefully extract My First Name..Last Name …school Name ….what class…what section ….whats the teachers name …..friends name ……after they are done with their cencus.. the final blow will come….So What are your hobbies…. At that age I never had any hobby …. But then its Prestige Issue ,,,,, I use to bullshit ….reading and playing cricket …… even though all I played was “I Spy” (Eyes Spice Local Lingo ;))…Lagori (a game played with a ball and couple of stones…bacchas) …. Jooth ata(Catch me if u can) ….I don’t know why are these not classified as Hobbies

As a teenager my answer used to be more refined…I could not afford to tell that I play cricket….People use to feel that I am not studios and wasting lot of time playing……So I use to trick them telling I read novels …..but then they had become wiser tooo……who do u read…..I am a smart chap…. Solid answer …. Sheldon……but reality is I have only read Tinkle ….. Gokul….. Amara Chita katha,,,,chandamama…..apart from Supadi …Shikari Shambu …. Chacha choudry comic strips .. there is nothing much I have read …….

Once we are in college it was tough for me, i had to prepare resumes for projects …interviews….but then I did not have enough stuff to put in it…so I use to fill the resumes with some crazy stuff like hobbies and membership to elite clubs…. In resume also I have bull shitted .. like reading books and traveling …but then its was done intentionally ….. reading to tell world that I am a very studious guy an I know lot of stuff,,,and traveling to tell ppl that I am ready to travel put me onsite…….Once some HR asked me what all places have you traveled as hobby…. I was taken by surprise……. Tricked him some weird non existent village names chakoripur..bimalpur…telling him they were scenic spots in jharkand….in reality my longest journey is between My home n Electronic City …… some 200 times a year coz I use to work there … ;)

Forget Me…Big B and King Khan ….how many times the have asked participants “So,What are your hobbies”….ground reality is they have run out of topics to speak…so they shoot this ugly question for which the standard answer by our aam janatha is watching your stupid movies………Movies have come and gone but the screen names are still Vijay for Big B and Rahul for King Khan ….. and lolz one mimics the other in Movie..DON

Weird thing is that in many old south Indian movies relationships and dating begins with this question “So, what are your hobbies ?? “…… Man this question mighty weapon a lethal one ……. Used on poor little living beigs like yours truly who dosent have hobbies………

By the way what are your hobbies ???