Confession
It is Independence Day eve here in Milwaukee. People come from far parts of the country to lake shore and enjoy an hour long Independence Day fireworks. I spotted an old man with his pet iguana in the crowd. Seeing a lizard….. I am lost in the memories of my childhood again, this time I have traveled years behind.
Wrooooooooooom Black and White
Background: Class 5, Biology - Darwin Theory – Evolution….I was taught by biology teacher Lizards have evolved and develop a unique means of defense. Lizards drop their tails to fool predators.
Being a pampered kid then, I was curious to see Lizard’s supernatural powers in real. Luckily one evening I spotted a house lizard on our terrace. I was in a flash to find a broom stick to poke her tail, poor she …… as expected she let go her tail……Geee I guess I would have felt on cloud eleven that particular moment…Coooommmon……. I was still a kid……..This would have ended here if I had not got another extremely good idea. ….Yes!!!! I wanted to see her tail grow back…. Within no moment, plucked a leaf and grabbed her up and locked her in a translucent plastic box and closed the lid tight. I was now able to see her move around in box…Then I carefully hid the box amidst pots…..Some hours later I realized there will be no circulation of air in the box and she will die…. Soon I went back to terrace with a needle and made a few holes in the box…..and also I had to feed her.. I knew lizards eat ants.. so killed a couple of ants and using same needle forced the dead ants into the box ….Used a syringe to feed the box with some water… This continued for a couple of days. Later that week poor thing died coz of my torture……… I never got a change to see how lizards will grow their tails back
My curiosity had led to a brutal murder of a supernatural lizard.
Wrooooooooooom Black and White
Background: Class 5, Biology - Darwin Theory – Evolution….I was taught by biology teacher Lizards have evolved and develop a unique means of defense. Lizards drop their tails to fool predators.
Being a pampered kid then, I was curious to see Lizard’s supernatural powers in real. Luckily one evening I spotted a house lizard on our terrace. I was in a flash to find a broom stick to poke her tail, poor she …… as expected she let go her tail……Geee I guess I would have felt on cloud eleven that particular moment…Coooommmon……. I was still a kid……..This would have ended here if I had not got another extremely good idea. ….Yes!!!! I wanted to see her tail grow back…. Within no moment, plucked a leaf and grabbed her up and locked her in a translucent plastic box and closed the lid tight. I was now able to see her move around in box…Then I carefully hid the box amidst pots…..Some hours later I realized there will be no circulation of air in the box and she will die…. Soon I went back to terrace with a needle and made a few holes in the box…..and also I had to feed her.. I knew lizards eat ants.. so killed a couple of ants and using same needle forced the dead ants into the box ….Used a syringe to feed the box with some water… This continued for a couple of days. Later that week poor thing died coz of my torture……… I never got a change to see how lizards will grow their tails back
My curiosity had led to a brutal murder of a supernatural lizard.
Now Fast Forward 150 years: Wrooooooom
Scene: At the doors of heven in a queue
Life on earth ends, I am charged for all the these lizard murder sins by animal protection rights board in haven…….. Mrs. Menaka Gandhi is lawyer and Steve Irwin is Judge in “Animal Sin Clearance Court”
Menaka: Madhav Madhav you have inhumanly murdered a poor she lizard….you will also be answerable to woman rights protection board
I am pleading to Steve to bestow Mercy on me….
Menaka: Madhav Madhav you have inhumanly murdered a poor she lizard….you will also be answerable to woman rights protection board
I am pleading to Steve to bestow Mercy on me….
Steve ....Still I tried to be good kid by feeding the lizard her favorite dish Ants …….. Haven't I huh ???
Foot Note 1:
Readers : How do you know it was a she lizard ??
Madhav: I caught her when she was laying egg
Readers: O Gosh, you will be booked by “Child Welfare Board” also .....That tooo Rabri devi and Lalooji will be heading that board........ All the best
Foot Note 1:
Readers : How do you know it was a she lizard ??
Madhav: I caught her when she was laying egg
Readers: O Gosh, you will be booked by “Child Welfare Board” also .....That tooo Rabri devi and Lalooji will be heading that board........ All the best
Madhav: Why Laloo and Rabri ??
Readers: Dont you know Stupid huh ?? They have 11 children....who else better nows about child welfare aprart from them huh ??
Madhav: God Save Poor Little Madhav boo wooo :((
Madhav: God Save Poor Little Madhav boo wooo :((
Foot Note 2:
Yes I will live for 175 years !!!!!!!
3 comments:
This blog is at the helm of humour sense well packed in a scrpit :)!
if ever i were to be the syllabus moderator to primary education i would included this blog as one of their chapter.
but then is this the only animal sin u hv committed?? cool dude....u hv impressed me....
hope u aint lying ...:D do mention about the no. of chickens u gulped :P.....
but then those were exactly the questions whch were in my mind! ..u hv described well....but then wat did Irwin decide?....
hes my closest pal. dont u worry i will put a word wen u reach there coz am sure i wuld b thr much bfor u...! :D
Prani himse dodda paapa.
wonderfully written...real good sense of humor :-D
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